When: Morning of Yohji's nightmare (whenever that was)
Why: Aya, Yohji, morning chats
He'd woken in a cold sweat, heart thudding madly inside his chest, almost to the point of being painful. That dream... He shouldn't let things like that get to him, and he knew it. But after talking to Farfarello, he'd been brooding on the point the Irishman had made to him, and so the content of the dream was perhaps understandable. After a moment composing himself, thankful that Aya wasn't in here with him tonight, he slid out of bed, grabbing up his pants and moving out towards the kitchen. He needed a smoke, badly.
Aya had fallen asleep on the couch that evening, book open against his chest. His head had fallen to the side, light coming in from the window lightly playing across his face. He stirred slightly, something in the back of his mind letting him know that someone was moving around. Aya's eyes blinked open slowly and he sat up, gazing through sleep-fogged eyes at Yohji as he moved by. That's curious. What time was it? He pushed himself slowly to his feet and shuffled his way to the kitchen, flicking on the light. He gazed at Yohji, raising an eyebrow slightly. "...What're you doing up?"
He'd been just about to pull the cancer stick from his pant pocket, when he glanced up and noticed Aya wasn't sleeping, either. Almost wish he was. He declined to answer at first, merely shrugging, before dropping into one of the chairs and fishing for his lighter.
Aya grunted quietly when Yohji deigned not to answer, and instead moved over to the coffee pot to get a fresh one brewing. He let out a quiet, almost relieved sigh, as the familiar warm scent of coffee began washing over him. Ah, but that was a welcoming sensation...
Coffee. Like Hell he'd fall asleep now, but he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to. As soon as the cigarette was lit, he seemed to relax by the barest of degrees. He still looked distracted, by something, but at least he wasn't looking quite so tense.
When the coffee was finished brewing, he poured two mugs and moved to the table. Sitting, he silently placed one in front of Yohji before taking a seat across the table from him, sipping on his own. He closed his eyes for just a moment, letting the heat warm him up, before opening his eyes again and gazing at Yohji almost expectantly.
His sat untouched for the moment, concentrating on his cigarette, it seemed. Then he sighed. "Checked on Omi, lately? He doing alright?"
"Un. The night terrors seem to be lessening, some what, though the hallucinations still remain strong." He took another sip of coffee, eyeing Yohji rather speculatively. "And how are you holding up?"
"Tch. Just like the rest of us, just wanting out of here, is all," he replied, leaning back in his seat and frowning slightly. Well, alright, it wasn't all of what was bothering him. Nothing said he had to say what was bothering him, either. It was something he rather felt he had to deal with on his own...just felt that way.
Aya raised an eyebrow at this, not believing him for a damn second. He shifted into the chair at his right, moving closer toward him. Aya leaned against the table to gaze intently at Yohji, silently contemplating, taking in the almost...haggard appearance. "What's haunting you this morning?"
No surprise, then, that he had seen it. Aya wasn't a fool, and wouldn't allow himself to be fooled. Not like him... He almost smiled, but it was mirthless, and he shook his head slowly. "If it's not one thing it's another. I should be able to handle it better by now..."
"The demons are keeping you awake again, then," he murmured, settling back against the chair behind him. "Old demons, by the sound of it." Aya raised a hand, rubbing the back of his neck slightly, taking another drink of his coffee.
Inspired by a new demon...but one who seemed surprisingly interested in him overcoming the old ones. Thinking on it too much just gave him a headache, so he accepted it, and tried not to read anything into it. "Just remembering things I'd rather not. Past's the past, right?" he replied lightly.
At this, Aya almost snorted. "None of our pasts stay where they should, Yohji. You know that." They were always coming back to haunt them time and time again. It got a little annoying after a while, to be frank.
"Yeah, I know..." Another deep drag of that calming dose of nicotine and he was looking at the coffee with an 'eh, why not' sort of expression. He was up anyway. ".....but does it always have to be that way?" he continued quietly after a moment, in an unusual solemn sort of tone. "Aren't we allowed to just let go?"
"We're always allowed to let it go," he answered in turn, absently moving his mug about in his hands, "It's just a matter of whether or not it wants to let us go."
That's true, he mused inwardly, finally tossing his cigarette into the ashtray and lifting his cup of coffee. It doesn't want to let go...but anything is going to change, then we have to become stronger than it is... if only it were as easy as realizing it to -do-.
Aya watched Yohji for a second more before finishing off his own coffee. Hn...He shook his head, sighing quietly. He had a sneaky suspicion as to which demon was still haunting Yohji; the same one that had been there since Aya had joined up with Weiss. It really was time to let go.
Slender fingers played around the mug's handle, silently, before his eyes lifted to the other. "Aya...do you think I'm a coward?" he said at last. For not being able to let go...for trying to justify what he did in all the angst he put himself through, day after day....it was cowardly. Farfarello's words had struck a chord.
Aya mulled this over, turning it about in his mind silently for a moment or two. "In some regards...yes." He smirked just faintly, eyes lifting to look at his blonde compatriot. "The present doesn't frighten you; the now. What's happening this instant. But whenever you start to look at the past, or toward the future..." he paused, hmm'ing quietly, "You get this...haunted look to your eyes. You're afraid of what you'll find there. I think."
His eyes lowered, staring into his coffee cup morosely. "I want to leave the past where it belongs. I don't know what sort of future people like us can have, but it'll come, regardless of what we do in the meanwhile. All that's left is right now." His eyes lifted again then, looking...rather intently at Aya. All we have is what's in front of us, right now...
"In all honesty, I'm surprised we've lived as long as we have," he muttered, a bit of humor in his voice that died when he saw the...look Yohji was giving him. He fell silent, gazing into his empty mug like it held all the answers. "If you can adapt that attitude permanently, Yohji...I think that it will help."
Without a second thought, the coffee was set down. "Maybe it will..." he agreed softly, slowly rising from his seat. Well, it was forward thinking, wasn't it? Focusing on the present, maybe, just maybe, letting go of the past would be a little easier. So it shouldn't have been any great surprise when he moved over to Aya's side of the table, leaned down, and caught his lips with his own.
Aya blinked, only stunned for a moment, before his eyes slid closed. His lips parted, accepting the kiss quite easily, a hand coming up to tangle in Yohji's hair. Yes, this was a definite positive present to focus on, as far as he was concerned.
The most heartening aspect of the entire situation they were in, currently. It wasn't saying much, but he was utterly grateful for it, all the same. He might have been imagining it...but Aya's cold exterior was melting away more and more, the longer this went on....He only sorely hoped the other wouldn't end up hurt because of it. Not if he could help it, though, that much he'd promised himself. Moments passed and the kiss ended at last, Yohji's eyes half-lidded as he drew back slightly. "...thank you." For telling him what he needed to hear. For being there at all. For not having chopped him into itty bitty pieces the first time he'd tried kissing him. For a lot, now that he thought about it.
The ice was melting. Slowly but surely, it was starting to fade away. Each new caress, each soft spoken word, each brush of lips, caused a few more drops of ice to melt. Aya sighed softly as Yohji pulled away, eyes fluttering open slightly to look up at him. He cupped Yohji's cheek lightly, gazing into startling green eyes, a light, fanning breath escaping him. "...No problem."